I didn’t keep a journal during these few months (I barely had time to breathe); I just have notes from my school planner, so here are a few snippets:
Wednesday January 8, 2003 – Lunch with Ruth in Salt Lake, she wants me to adopt the baby!
Friday January 10, 2003 – Picked up Ruth in Salt Lake, women’s shelter, Logan, etc. (see previous post)
The next few days I spent locating an apartment for Ruth. I found a large one bedroom with several nice windows and good sun exposure. I had some extra furniture, so we were able to get her set up with at least a moderate amount of items including a bed, (the boys donated their small TV), stereo, kitchen table and chairs, dishes, towels and linens. (I love decorating, so this part was fun for me!)
Tuesday January 14, 2003 – My Birthday!
Wednesday January 15, 2003 – We moved Ruth into her new apartment, it was a LONG day!
Mykel and I have moved a lot so we are old pros at this sort of thing, but it was tiring nonetheless. I think one of the hardest parts of the situation during this time was leaving the boys with a baby-sitter or trying to coordinate a schedule with the boys and deciding if they should witness the unfolding events. I hated saying goodbye to them during those long days, it felt like I never even saw them... except for driving in the car. Even though we lived less than 10 miles from Ruth’s apartment it was a long drive to keep going back and forth to work, school and her apartment.
Thursday January 16 – Workforce Services appointment with Ruth.
We went to job service to find out what Ruth’s options were as far as money for food and her basic welfare needs, the lady who helped us was very kind and understanding and I was so grateful for the help.
Friday January 17, 2003 - Two days later we had to go back to her old apartment and get more of her stuff and then back to her mother’s home to get more (about four hours of driving that day….)
Saturday January 18, 2003 – Date night with Mykel, we went and watched a high school basketball game with my friend Rachel; it was two of the most relaxing hours of my entire month!
Monday February 3, 2003 – I drove Ruth to her doctor appointment in Salt Lake. On this trip I didn’t take the boys with me. I picked up Ruth and we had to go back to my work so I could drop off my time card because I had forgotten something. When I got back in the car, Ruth handed me an envelope. Below is a copy of the card she gave me.
The card says:
I would like for you to adopt the baby girl.
That would mean a lot to me.
I would love for Bryan and the boys to have a sister.
Thank you for everything.
PS - Listen to the last song on this CD.
The song she refers to on the CD is called “From God’s Arms, To My arms, To Yours”
by Michael McLean
With so many wrong decisions in my past, I’m not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.
But lately I’ve been thinking, ‘cause it’s all I’ve had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I should give this child to you.
And maybe you can tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he’s been loved before;
By someone who delivered your son
From God’s arms, to my arms, to yours.
If you choose to tell him, and if he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life could bear to let him go;
Just tell him there were sleepless nights; I prayed and paced the floors
And knew the only peace I’d find is if this child was yours.
Now I know that you don’t have to do this,
But could you kiss him once for me
The first time that he ties his shoes, or falls and skins his knee?
And could you hold him twice as long when he makes his mistakes,
And tell him that he’s not alone, sometimes that’s all it takes.
I know how much he’ll ache.
This may not be the answer for another girl like me;
But I’m not on a soapbox saying how we all should be.
I’m just trusting in my feelings and I’m trusting God above,
And I’m trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers’ love