March 20, 1999
“My mom called this morning and said that there might be a possibility that we could get Bryan back. I didn’t hesitate for even a second; I just wish he was here now. I have been struggling with the fact that I can’t have any children, but when my mom called I felt as if it would be complete if Bryan were here. I sure hope that Ruth lets him come live with us. I just want to hold him and make him feel safe.”
March 30, 1999
“Ruth called me today and asked if we wanted Bryan – YES!!! I miss that little guy so much and I can’t wait until he is with us again. We are going to Vernal on Friday April 2 and we will get to see him. I really hope he will be able to come home with us. I can’t wait to just hold him and love him. Ruth said he asks about us and that he has been really depressed lately. He says he wants to go live with 'Miguel and Daddy.' I can’t wait to see him!”
~ In the judge's chambers on the day of Bryan's finalization ~
Bryan’s adoption was finalized in November 1999, six months after he was placed with us for the second time. For his finalization we met in the judge’s chambers and the entire meeting was recorded for us. I remember sitting across the desk from the judge holding one of the boys on my lap (one on Mykel’s lap and one on our attorney’s lap). It was very emotional for both Mykel and I as we tried to convey the reasons we wanted Bryan to remain a permanent part of our family. We were both in tears when Mykel said “because I love him and he is our son.”
The day after finalization was even more significant. We were able to have Bryan *sealed to our family. Ruth and I are both members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and a core belief of our religion is that families can be together forever. Valorie moved to Vernal because an LDS temple was being built there and she was able to convince Ruth to move with her and that is how we crossed paths and initially met each other. Ruth has told me on several occasions that she decided to place the boys with us because she wanted the boys to be *sealed to a mother and a father.
Together at the Vernal Temple for Bryan's sealing (Cole and Preston were sealed to us previously after their adoptions were finalized).
“Was there ever a man who truly loved a woman, or a woman who truly loved a man, who did not pray that their relationship might continue beyond the grave? Has a child ever been buried by parents who did not long for the assurance that their loved one would again be theirs in a world to come? Can anyone believing in eternal life doubt that the God of heaven would grant His sons and daughters that most precious attribute of life, the love that finds its most meaningful expression in family relationships? No, reason demands that the family relationship shall continue after death. The human heart longs for it, and the God of heaven has revealed a way whereby it may be secured. The sacred ordinances of the house of the Lord provide for it.” Gordon B. Hinckley http://www.lds.org/temples/purpose/why/0,11581,1953-1,00.html
Bryan and Camille (me) sharing a moment at the Vernal Temple
The ordinance of having my children *sealed to me was the most wonderful and sacred feeling I have ever experienced – we are an Eternal Family!
(*The sealing ordinance is that ordinance which binds families eternally through the power of the priesthood.)
Camille, your blog is just amazing. I read whenever you post a new story and it makes me cry, but I love it. Your family is wonderful, I wish I will be able to have a family of my own like yours. Thank you for a great example of being a great mother :)
ReplyDeleteI just read all the parts to your story so far. I have to admit, i have some mixed feelings. Not about you and your parenting but just of the heartwrenching decision for Ruth and how it has affect the children.
ReplyDeleteI am not a member of the LDS church so forgive me if my question sounds ignorant, it's about the sealing ceremony. Do you think hypothetically, that you could seal Ruth and V into your family as well if you wanted to? From what I have read here, it almost seems appropriate.
Please continue to write. I will continue to read.
BethGo,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I have started reading other people's blogs about adoption and I have been amazed at the controversy surrounding relinquishment. I have definitely learned a lot and still have a lot to learn.
I consider Ruth and Valorie as part of our family and as someone said to me before "we are all God's children" so I believe they are part of my eternal family as well.
Thanks DaRae! :)