Our Story, Part 18 - Ruth

A few years ago we were driving in the car and out of the blue Preston said “I wonder how Ruth is doing and if she is okay.” The boys periodically ask how she is doing and wonder if she is happy, but the amazing thing about Preston asking that day was that it was actually Ruth’s birthday. I had spoken with her a few days before (Preston was unaware that she and I had talked on the phone) so I was able to give him an honest answer about her welfare (and she was having a hard time).

On Christmas Eve 2007, we were only living about a half-hour away from Ruth so we made plans to meet for dinner. The restaurant was fairly quiet so we were able to sit around a large table and just let the kids enjoy the meal and talk to Ruth. We took some pictures and the kids gave her some gifts they had made and bought, but the best part of the night was when we were all walking back to our cars after the meal. Mykel took the little girls and put them in our van, but Bryan, Cole and Preston walked with Ruth and I up the block to her parked car. It had been snowing and her windows were covered with a thick layer. The boys cleaned the snow off her car and then gave her the presents they had brought.


Cole then asked Ruth “are you lonely?” Cole is always concerned that Ruth is sad because they don’t live with her. We talk about that a lot and I try to ease their concerns by letting them know that “yes, Ruth does miss you, but she knows that you are happy and that makes her happy.” That might seem like a trite answer, but I don’t think I am the person to fully answer that question.

The other day my 6-year-old daughter Ava was looking at the pictures on my blog. Suddenly she got all excited and said “I know her! I know her! (pointing to the pictures) She is my birth mom, that is RUTH!”
The children all seem to have a special connection with Ruth, like a sixth sense to know when she is having a hard time in life or may be sad, because it seems like they will ask me questions about her during those times. I am amazed by this unbreakable bond.

I talked to Ruth before I started this blog to let her know what I was doing and if she would be okay with me using her name and her pictures. I also asked her if she ever wanted to comment on my blog that she was free to do so. I told her she can be as open and honest as she wanted to about how she felt and this is the response I received yesterday:

It is good to read Camille's blogs, to see things from her perspective, which has been healing for me. It wasn't easy placing the kids, any of them, for adoption. I wanted what was best for them; I knew that with Mykel and Camille that they would have much better, much happier lives than they would with me as a single mom. Camille and Mykel have been great about letting me see the kids, to be a part of their lives, which has also made placing the kids easier because I knew that I could still see them from time to time, that the kids weren’t totally gone, I would know how they are doing, I would never question if they were ok, if they were happy. I am glad that we have an open adoption, I am so thankful to Camille and Mykel for letting me be a part of their lives.

No, I didn’t pay her to write those things, she is honestly that sweet and kind. The amazing thing about Ruth is that I still get cards in the mail from her or e-mails and she is always thanking ME.

Here is an example of a simple, sweet note she wrote to me in November 2008:

Camille, I thank Heavenly Father for you and the kids. ~Ruth

I could never thank her enough for blessing my life so abundantly and allowing me to be a mother.