It has been one of those weeks. I have felt worthless, like I am not a good mom – (I am sure most moms feel like this many times...)
I realized I have been reading too many negative blogs and books (The Primal Wound, as suggested by the negative blogs) about adoption lately. I have been feeling like this horrible person for “taking” these children away from their natural mother and the affect it will have on them and their future. This morning was a low point for me.
Then, my friend Celestia called and said she was bringing me lunch today. She had no idea I was feeling low as I hadn’t discussed how I was feeling with her at all, but somehow she knew to come (THANK YOU!) My sister even called me to see how things were going (she saw on my Facebook page that I was having a bad day) I was happy just hearing her soothing voice (she has one of those amazing radio voices); she has always been such a wonderful example to me!
After we had a delicious lunch (Holy Kolache! and Cinnamon Rolls!) My friend’s husband Tim (who is a Physician’s Assistant) stopped by my house to check on Aubrey because she has been really sick. Tim was adopted at birth so I started talking to him about these books and blogs I had been reading and asked how he felt as an adoptee and if he agreed with what I had read. He said he felt completely opposite (this made my heart soar! There was hope for me as a mother!)
Yeah, I just heard a knock on the door and it was my friend Nicole bringing me some yummy cookies! I am now eating some delicious peanut butter cookies and a cold glass of milk – and I am feeling better already! There is so much good in this world, I have to stop focusing on the bad!
Wow, another knock at my door and Celestia’s girls brought our family dinner! I do have to say that I have some of the best friends, neighbors and family in the world! Thanks for making me smile again!
I realized I have been reading too many negative blogs and books (The Primal Wound, as suggested by the negative blogs) about adoption lately. I have been feeling like this horrible person for “taking” these children away from their natural mother and the affect it will have on them and their future. This morning was a low point for me.
Then, my friend Celestia called and said she was bringing me lunch today. She had no idea I was feeling low as I hadn’t discussed how I was feeling with her at all, but somehow she knew to come (THANK YOU!) My sister even called me to see how things were going (she saw on my Facebook page that I was having a bad day) I was happy just hearing her soothing voice (she has one of those amazing radio voices); she has always been such a wonderful example to me!
After we had a delicious lunch (Holy Kolache! and Cinnamon Rolls!) My friend’s husband Tim (who is a Physician’s Assistant) stopped by my house to check on Aubrey because she has been really sick. Tim was adopted at birth so I started talking to him about these books and blogs I had been reading and asked how he felt as an adoptee and if he agreed with what I had read. He said he felt completely opposite (this made my heart soar! There was hope for me as a mother!)
Yeah, I just heard a knock on the door and it was my friend Nicole bringing me some yummy cookies! I am now eating some delicious peanut butter cookies and a cold glass of milk – and I am feeling better already! There is so much good in this world, I have to stop focusing on the bad!
Wow, another knock at my door and Celestia’s girls brought our family dinner! I do have to say that I have some of the best friends, neighbors and family in the world! Thanks for making me smile again!
Then a few minutes later I checked my e-mail to find another wonderful note from my friend Kari.... Heavenly Father is definitely watching over me today!
Thanks to my husband as well… he took the girls on a daddy/daughter date to give me some time to unwind/cry/blog/vent… Thanks honey!
Thanks to my husband as well… he took the girls on a daddy/daughter date to give me some time to unwind/cry/blog/vent… Thanks honey!
i'm so glad you have such a great support system. EVERYone needs it!! (i wish mine was bigger... but we keep doggone moving so much!!! ;)... really, i guess i should be it more to others:)
ReplyDeletethanks for letting me read your blog. i have thoroughly enjoyed it from the get-go. i have felt that it was open, honest, and so pure.. and it has opened my eyes to things i would have never considered, and has been a positive breath of fresh air for me. love you!
I am hoping to adopt a baby girl in June. I have been doing a lot of reading and net surfing and find myself reading a lot of anti-adoption stuff. I don't know why I even read the stuff, it just makes me feel bad and it is not everyone's truth.
ReplyDeletesounds like "another sign" that you're doing (and have done) the right thing! What a blessing to have such great friends!
ReplyDeleteCamille, I have been reading your story for awhile now (and have read back to the beginning with earnest). I have had an "adoption" blog for a couple of years, and I understand the hurt that can come from nasty comments.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to encourage you to continue on in some way with blogging, because it is encouraging for us. You write so candidly and honestly and it is very refreshing. Since we brought my daughter home a year ago, I have moved my blog, made my blog private and then moved it to wordpress (so I can pswd protect my posts). Now, I pasword protect the posts with photos and with private info about out adoption story... but I can share my thoughts on adoption, life and my sweet baby R for the whole world to read. It gives you lots of option. Just a suggestion. I'll send you an email with both a request to follow along if/when you go private as well as the pswd for my blog so you can check it out.
Thanks for writing and sharing your story. For me, the connections I have made in blog land have made me a more sane person and a better mom.
www.miraculouslymyownaz.wordpress.com
Camille,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to tell you how much I have enjoyed reading your blog. Your story is an amazing one!
I have two step-daughters and one of them has unique circumstances. I knew that being open and honest with her about her circumstances would serve her the best, and from her I have learned how to be more open and honest with my other children. When a difficult situation arises that you would really rather try to shield them from, I now know that it is better for them to face it head on.
I used to think that open adoption would just be too hard on everyone involved. Your blog has changed my mind completely.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It has taught me so much and I have had the opportunity to share parts of it with others who have also been able to benefit from it and have been grateful for your words of wisdom.
I'm sure that our Heavenly Father is very pleased with you as a mother!
"There is no such thing as a small act of kindness." Thank you everyone for writing and sharing your thoughts about adoption and life in general. I have learned so much about myself while writing about my experiences as a mother, so many things to still learn, but it is wonderful to have friends and people along the way to cheer you on!
ReplyDeleteBB - I am going to look into Wordpress and see what I can do, Thanks for the suggestion and advice! Good luck with your sweet baby!
S.K.I.P and Mariel - I hope we never forget those days living in downtown Ogden, what a wonderful chance meeting each of us had and how those friendships have enriched our lives!
Kgerl - let us know how the adoption unfolds as it get closer! I have to stop reading the negative stuff too and focus on the positive adoption stories out there. When I look at my children, everything is positive! :)
Kristine - I agree that being open and honest is best (although it isn't always the easiest route) 'sometimes they just have to face things head on.' My older sister always tells me "just be honest and let the chips fall where they may."
Thanks everyone for writing a comment and sharing part of your life. I love learning new things from other mothers/friends/women - we are all in this together! :)