My Family

If you are new to this blog and want to read the entire story chronologically - please start in January with "Our Story, Part 1"

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Happy "Mother's" Day!

"If a mother and father can love more than one child, then certainly a child can love more than one mother or father." Author: Unknown

My friend Tracey has the above quote on her blog and I love it because it is what I believe. I think a real fear of adoptive mothers is that their children will someday grow up and want to go back to their “real” mothers (and then where does that leave us?)
Ava, Bryan, Ruth, Preston and Cole

When my husband and I were first approached with adoption he was in favor a “closed” adoption because his fear was that when our children turned 18 they would find their “real” parents and we would be left in the dust.

When my oldest son Bryan came back to live with us he told his brothers that I was not his “real” mother and that Ruth was their “real” mother. At the time I was very hurt by this, although I knew that he was right. It has taken me time to realize (and be okay with) the fact that I will never by my children’s “real” mother in the sense that I was not the one who carried them in my womb and gave birth to them. I am finally confident enough in myself and who I represent to my children to not feel jealous when my children want to see their “real” mother.
I could never deny them the opportunity to see Ruth, nor deny Ruth the opportunity to see them. Time and life experiences have a way of helping you see things differently, for which I am grateful. I could never imagine the loss that Ruth feels as I am the “mother” who gets to spend every day with my children.

Today was no exception; it was one of those wonderful days as a mother….

* Holding Aubrey as she slept ~ my favorite!
* Boating with my children (sunshine, abundant smiles and laughter)
* Cooking and Eating s’mores with our friends and Ava saying “this was a perfect day.”
* Going to the store with my son and having him share his thoughts and ask for my advice.
* Cole hugging me and telling me he loves me.
*Watching my kids laugh.

Another wonderful evening in our backyard... Mykel and Preston

This afternoon I realized something: my joy comes from being with my children and seeing them happy. These moments I have with my children are so precious, I have to remember to savor them and relish the opportunity I have as their mother, no matter if I am the "real" one or not! :)


  1. well I think you're as real as any other parent out there!!

  2. Thanks! I have a quote that says "do I look REAL, then yes I am their REAL mother!" :)

  3. every time i read, i just keep thinking how amazing it is, and also that there is so much application to be found to many aspects of life, not only adoption. it's very filling:)....yup, i'm full;)