Today after I picked up my oldest son Bryan from his Driver’s Education class we were talking about his day at school. He is 15 and very studious… always a mountain of homework every night. He likes several girls and usually gives me the update if he talked to any of them during the day, if they say “hello” to him in the hall, or if he talks to any of them at lunch, etc.
During this conversation he mentioned that one of the girls said he was “handsome” – at this point I wanted to say “yeah, I agree with that, you are handsome like your dad!” Even though Bryan doesn’t have my husband and my genes, I think he does actually LOOK like us. I can’t make that comment about Bryan looking like either my husband or me because he knows genetically he doesn’t (he has let me know before that he doesn’t). He knows he LOOKS like his biological parents (although he has never met his biological father).
It is so hard for me not to say to my children, “you got your nose from your dad!” or “you got your curly hair from me.” I forget all the time that I didn’t actually give birth to them; they are such a part of me. My children do look like their biological families, but several of my friends have told me that they look like me too. Whenever I go to their school to pick any of them up, I usually get a comment from the secretary that goes something like this, “you are Bryan’s mom? Wow, he looks just like you!”
I just smile.